This month I celebrated not only my 28th birthday, but a huge reality check that went under my radar this year. Over the last two months I have seen my quality of life and health vastly decline, and I couldn't figure out why. I realize now I must have been in a state of denial since my doctor told me personally I was burning myself out. With the move, housewarming parties, influencer work, healing work, and my normal job I was ignoring my health and stress signs. The reason I'm saying that I wish to celebrate this realization, is because I feel motivated by it. As well as a bit scared, but mostly motivated.
I had stopped working out. Frankly, I suffered from the ideology that I was young and moderately healthy. Little did I know I had crossed over the 200 pound territory. Something that I had been dreading my entire life. In my family there is an underlying phobia behind weight gain. I have always told my cousins that it is mainly a fear from the older generation projected onto us. As I sit here now I weigh 203 pounds at a height of 5'10. According to healthline for a person my height, that is considered overweight and just six pounds away from being obese. At first I couldn't process that. The idea that I was just a few pounds from being "considered" obese.
Looking in the mirror I didn't feel overweight, though I had certainly noticed a change. It was both mental and physical. Because I was not working out due to overworking in every other aspect of my life, I was incredibly tired. Tired to the point I would get dizzy spells and often overheat and need to sit down. Though I found myself exhausted, I also found I had trouble sleeping. I went to bed tired, I woke up tired, I worked throughout the day tired, and repeated the cycle over and over. My body also grew stiff and making certain movements became a challenge. I was struggling to stay on my feet for long periods of time and my posture and stance changed.
This is when I decided a trip to the doctor was in order. When I met with her I proceeded to word vomit symptoms. This had been building for nearly the entire year I noticed and I needed to figure it out. After tests and hard conversations I found out I was suffering from adrenal fatigue. It was contributing to not only my fatigue and body aches, but my digestive issues and several other problems. My response to this was to cringe. I knew I messed up. I always take accountability for my actions, or lack there of, and make a change based on that.
I wish I could say that was all, but after what turned out to be a not-so-soothing day at the spa for my birthday, I found out I had tight fascia. Initially, I was confused to what that even was. It had been a long time since I had taken a human biology course. I immediately consulted both my doctor and dermatologist. Turns out it is a sheet of connective tissue underneath the skin and mine was abnormally tight. This was also contributing to my pain, loss of motion, cellulite, and compression of my muscles. Safe to say after all of this I was waving the white flag. It is easy to feel discouraged when you find out you have two conditions that ironically contradict each other. One makes me incredibly tired, while another requires me to workout in order to rectify it.
Instead of going through all the stages of grief for my body, I decided to take actions and let the universe speak to me. As if on cue I saw a call for bloggers for one of my favorite yoga studios that I had not visited for a while. I explained my situation to Tricia, the owner, and decided that I would document my journey to recovery and share that with the Altitude Aerial Arts & Fitness family. I knew I was not the only one dealing with being on a road to better themselves. As of now my goal is to try and lose at least four pounds by the end of the year. Though it seems like a small number, I also have to fight against this adrenal fatigue that makes me feel like I should just sleep all the time. In order for me to build a strong healthy foundation I have to start somewhere. So here's to 2020, where I look to regain my health and confidence and live a fuller and more conscious life.
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